The ABC's of Life
by 9r7g5h
Summary: Surprisingly, they could place every important event of their lives in alphabetical order.
1. List

**AN**: I've seen a couple of these, so I decided to give it a try.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS:LA

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Adventure-Although they didn't know it, their lives were about to become almost more of an adventure then they could handle.

Blood- Although they had both seen blood before, the sight of each other's still made them slightly woozy.

Cute- Although she would never admit it, Kensi could never deny to herself that she actually liked it when Deeks called her 'cute.'

Date- When he had jokingly asked her out on a real date, he had never expected that she would say "Yes."

Elephant- They both knew they had to address the elephant in the room, but neither of them knew how to begin.

Favorite- The day Deeks found out her favorite candy, he made it his mission to make sure some of it was always on hand, just to be on the safe side.

Game- In a way, it was a game they played, seeing who could get the other to crack first.

Hamster- Amazingly, it was a hamster that allowed Deeks to see her without her walls.

If- Sometimes, when the wall their secret puts but between them and the others becomes almost too large to climb, she wonders if it's worth it.

Justice- Even Deeks' wildest dreams could never have done the real thing justice.

Kiss- Kensi craved a lot of things, but most of all she craved his kiss.

Lost- Throughout the many moments that had had during their relationship, the best ones just so happen to occur when they were 'lost.'

Miscarriage- it was truly the most terrifying moment of her life, mainly because she had no clue what was happening to her.

Negative-After their loss, there was a field of negative space surrounding them, breaking their hearts a little bit more every time the other pushed them away.

Open- It wasn't until she completely opened herself up to him that the healing truly began for both of them.

Positive- If there was one thing he was positively sure of, it was that they were screwed.

Question- It was the one question that, without thinking about it, Kensi said 'yes' to.

Reasons- They all had their reasons for the things they did, just some of them made less sense then the rest.

Sing- It wasn't until her life had been threatened that Kensi heard Deeks start singing.

Tradition- They were actually very traditional, just not in the traditional way.

Underwear- The moment she saw her bachelorette gifts, Kensi knew they would soon go to good use.

Venus- In his eyes, not even Venus could compare to Kensi's smile.

Wedding- The day Deeks got to see Kensi walk towards him garbed in white has taken its place as one of the best days of his life.

Xylophone- Although she thought she had known everything about her husband, it truly wasn't a surprise when she found out that he could play the xylophone.

Year- Before either of them knew it, an entire year had gone by in the blink of an eye.

Zebra- Although she was exhausted beyond all belief, Kensi couldn't help but smile when she saw him carrying that stuffed zebra under his arm, his goofy grin wide as he took in the sight of their newborn baby girl.


	2. Adventure

**AN:** I finally decided to continue this! They're mostly just going to be quick practice drabbles, but at least it's something. I hope you all enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: LA. Not sure who does, but it's not me.

* * *

When Kensi had first laid eyes upon him, she hadn't seen a potential partner who would one day become the man she trusted almost as much as she trusted herself. Instead, she saw nothing more than a junkie wanna-be boxer who was standing in the way of her investigation.

Deeks just saw another hot body his undercover persona wanted in bed, another woman to use and let loose as they tried to hitch their name to his supposedly rising star. He didn't know she would become one of the few women who could leave him tongue tied and silent with just a single look, nor that he would one day trust her to be the gun that would save his life a dozen times over.

But, as Deeks would one day point out as they sat together on her couch, watching America's Next Top Model and drinking beers after a particularly long day, "That's just the adventure of life."

She would agree, but only after smacking him in the face with one of her many throw pillows for being so cheesy.


	3. Blood

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: LA. Not sure who does, but it's not me.

* * *

"Kensi, stop; you're bleeding."

Deeks had long ago lost count of the number of times he had seen blood, the beads of red that had appeared on his mother's skin after one of his father's bad days just the beginning of his familiarity with the substance. Gunshots, knife wounds, paper cuts; he had seen it all, and had learned to no longer let it phase him. It was just part of the job, and he would have been forced to quite a long time ago if he hadn't been able to ignore it.

"Deeks, it's just a graze, I'm fi-"

"_No,_ you're not. Come here."

Deeks had learned a long time ago not to let blood bother him, but as he shrugged off his over shirt and pressed it against his partner's temple, he could only just swallow the bile that burned his throat, the wince of pain that crossed her face only making it worse. When it came to _her_, his witty, sarcastic, bombshell of a brunette partner, blood wasn't just blood; it was _hers_, and while she claimed she was fine, that made it all the worse for him.

At least he could just clam that he was returning the favor if anyone ever asked, for she had done the exact same thing last week when he had been grazed by a bullet and she had freaked out about the spot of red that had stain his favorite blue shirt black.


	4. Cute

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: LA. CBS (I think. Maybe?) does.

* * *

Kensi _hated _being called 'cute.'

Her father had raised her to be tough, strong, a force to be reckoned with if the situation came to it. Her looks had never been part of the program, though she had come to realize early on that she did look good and could use that to her advantage. So, she could deal with adjectives like 'hot' and 'beautiful,' for if they helped to make her job that much easier, then so be it.

'Cute,' however, was an insult. Puppies were cute. Newborn babies-when they weren't cry or making messed of themselves-were cute. She was _not_ cute, and she had proven to her coworkers, criminals, and the occasional semi-innocent bystander that calling her that was enough to get their faces broken. Or, in the bystander's case, at least a nasty look that had them quivering in their overly priced sneakers and cheap dress shoes.

Yes, Kensi absolutely _hated_ being called 'cute.'

"You're looking cute today, Kens," Deeks said as she walked in, her hair in a messy ponytail and clad still in her gym clothes. "Adorable, even."

"Oh, shut up," she growled, tossing a candy wrapper at him as she went about pulling out a change of clothes and a towel so she could go use the showers. "And you, too." Reaching out to ruffle his hair as she walked past, Kensi couldn't help but laugh as he started complaining about it, griping about how long it had taken him to reach that 'perfect' beach boy look.

Normally, Kensi hated being called cute; but, when Deeks was the one doing it, she was more amused than anything else. Partly because she could tell he was kidding, and partly because she wasn't so sure if he really was.


	5. Date

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: LA. (Actually looked it up this time.) CBS does.

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"You know, not telling me what you're doing tonight is just going to make me wonder even more, and I really don't think you want my mind going where it's going to go."

Smirking at the glare Kensi shot him as they slid out of her car, Deeks couldn't help his impulsive shrug as he waited for her answer, his face becoming deceivingly innocent as she remained silent. He'd overheard her and Nell talking that morning about their plans for the weekend, and ever since he hadn't stopped bothering her, methodically pushing her buttons in an attempt to get her to break.

"I already told you I'm not doing anything, Deeks," Kensi growled as she slammed her door shut, her glower darkening at the unbelieving look his features took on. "A Disney marathon, maybe, but other than that I literally have nothing to do. Why can't you just accept that?"

"Because you've had a date every Friday night for the last three months," Deeks replied cheekily, "and you really expect me to accept you've broken that streak? Come on, Kens, it's me; you know this is a no judging zone, you can tell me who you're going out with. Oh," he added with a wince, "unless it's that creep from the store. It's not, is it, because if it is then I'm going to have to judge."

"It's no one," Kensi hissed from between clenched teeth, her look a warning to back off. Of course, he wouldn't, but at least he was getting good enough at reading her to recognize it. "I don't have a date."

"Then you should go out on one with me."

Instant silence fell between them as the words finished leaving his mouth, leaving the pair shocked and wide eyed as they waited for the other to do _something_ to fix the line he'd just crossed. They were friends, partners, Hetty's number one team (a claim _highly_ disputed by Sam and G.), so them spending a night hanging out together wasn't unheard of. The way he'd said, though…

"You know," he added awkwardly, hand running through his hair in an attempt to look less intimidated and more like he actually knew what he was doing, "so you can keep your record intact. Sam's actually getting jealous, you know."

"I know," Kensi said with a forced smile, one that nonetheless allowed the tension to drain from the air. They hadn't dodged the bullet; no, this was way too big for them to laugh about and shrug off. But they had managed to at least pause it, and for that he was thankful.

Thankful, until Kensi opened her mouth and kept on talking.

"Which is why you're going to pick me up at seven."

"Wait, Kens," Deeks backpedaled as his partner walked away, hips swaying as she headed into the nondescript building that served as their headquarters, "you know I was joking, right? Right?"

He never got an answer.


	6. Elephant

AN: Part 5 of 26 of the 'ABC's of Life' series.

Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: LA. CBS does.

* * *

"Kens…"

"No, Deeks. It never happened, so drop it."

"But it did," Deeks sighed as the car came to a stop, jolting him against the belt as she turned to look at him, "and pretending it didn't won't help."

"It'll help us keep our jobs, and me my sanity," Kensi replied, her voice a low growl. Everything about her was a warning: the tone of her voice, the way her shoulders had tensed at the sound of his own, the way her hands had clenched around the steering wheel as they waited for the red to turn green- all of it said 'back off or else.' He, however, wasn't willing to follow her silent commands this time, and so pretended he didn't see them.

"So what do you want us to do, Kensi," Deeks asked, mussing his hair in frustration at her words. "Pretend Friday didn't happen? Well, excuse me, princess, but it did, and we have to deal with it. Either we ca-"

"Fine," Kensi cut him off, slamming the pedal against the floor as the light turned, throwing him back against the seat as she took off, "you want to talk about this? Okay. You start."

"I…" His voice trailing off as he realized that he had no clue what to say, his own look turned into a glare as Kensi laughed, the sound humorless. "Well, I…"

"We're not talking about this, Deeks. We're just not. It _never_ happened." Her words were final, a decision made that he'd been left out of. As far as Kensi Blye was concerned, Friday was to be erased from their minds and never brought up again.

Too bad it'd been the greatest night of his life.


	7. Favorite

AN: Part 6 of 26 of the 'ABC's of Life' series.

Disclaimer: I do not now NCIS: Los Angeles. CBS does.

* * *

Deeks, though he may not seem like it, was very observant.

When Eric's crush on Nell had grown beyond that of simple admiration, he'd been the first to slap the techno geek on the back and tell him to go for it-in his own round-about way, of course. When Sam was worried about a case following him home, thus prompting the man to sleep on the couch in their office instead of risking his (very capable; Deeks was sure Sam was just being overly concerned) wife and children, he'd provoke him into a verbal confrontation, if just to take Sam's mind off of their situation for a few moments. And, when the creases around Hetty's mouth and eyes tightened ever so slightly, he jumped to complete whatever it was the woman wanted done. He'd never seen Hetty act on her anger, but, going off of the stories, he never wanted to.

That woman was terrifying to begin with; he didn't need any more fuel for his nightmares.

So, despite his laid back attitude and fluffy hair, Deeks was very observant. Which meant, within a month of them being partnered, he knew exactly what Kensi's favorite candy was.

It honestly wasn't hard to figure out. Kensi Blye, while an amazing special agent, had something of a hoarding problem. She kept _everything_; trash, if only because she was too lazy to throw it away when a trashcan wasn't right next to her, was no exception. Not the best for sanitary reasons, but, for Deeks, it had helped make things really easy.

When over half of the piles he'd cleaned up for her after getting tired of having to push them out of his seat consisted of one specific type of candy, it was a pretty save assumption to make that it was her favorite.

So, he stocked up. If someone had asked him why, he wouldn't have been able to say anything other than because he felt like being nice, but once that revelation had been made, he made sure to keep a good stock of it in the bottom drawer of his desk. This way, whenever it became clear that Kensi had run out-usually shown by frantic searching, followed by low cursing as she made due with something else-he could sneak a piece or two into her gym bag.

Really, it was just to see her smile, but it also helped to keep him on her good side, for, although he had no proof, he was pretty sure that she knew.


	8. Game

**AN:** Part 7 out of 26 of the 'ABC's of Life' series.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: LA. CBS does.

* * *

He was always the one to start, a smartass remark about her clothes or the girl they'd passed on the way to work her signal that it was about to begin.

She'd respond with a comment about his hair, always a sore subject between them; mainly just because it amused her how much time he'd put into it looking right when half the time she just pulled hers back into a ponytail and was done with it, but that's beside the point. Her low blow would bring up a mention of her latest date, and, for a while, they'd back off.

At lunch they would pick back up, drawing Sam and G into the mix as they stole bites of each other's food and berated them for it, his and Sam's health kick cringing at the grease/sugar filled crap the others decided enough for their stomachs. He'd remind her that she wouldn't be a size zero forever, to which she'd just happily continue to eat the leftover donut from that morning, laughing as she pointed out that, despite his whole sepal on eating healthily, she'd still beaten him in the gym that morning.

"I went easy on you and you know it."

"Yeah, sure you did. Just keep telling yourself that, Deeks."

She'd win that round, tying them one-to-one for the day, at least until they found themselves side by side on her couch, beer in hand and her latest guilty pleasure playing in the background. She would lean her head against his shoulder and curl into his side, a small sigh leaving her lips as, for the first time since she'd woken up that morning, she finally relaxed. He'd respond by wrapping his arm around her, a protective gesture he knew she hated but tolerated for him, a private win that never counted toward their overall score. From there they'd wait, small talk and banter filling the commercials between strutting model hopefuls and time traveling aliens. Occasionally they'd try to provoke the other, each eager to claim victory, but, more often than not, they'd wait.

To be completely honest, Deeks never had a clue who'd win in the end, for when he would finally give in and kiss her, his mind would be on far more important things than keeping score.

He'd ask, but that'd just be another point in her favor, and even if she already was, he wasn't going to let her win their little game.


	9. Hamster

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: LA. CBS does.

* * *

Every few days her root took her past a pet store, and every few days, Deeks watched as Kensi, already at risk of being late for work, pulled over and went in to look at the animals.

For the most part, her interest level was low, just a general love of cute and fluffy animals drawing her in to see the newest stock. With disinterest clear on her face as she watched the puppies and kittens tumble together in a ball of fur and a similar look given to the birds, rabbits, and fish as they ignored her in turn, no one even bothered to offer her help in finding anything. She obviously wasn't looking for a pet, and so would have been a waste of their time.

The moment their backs were turned, the employees busying themselves with customers that might put a paycheck in their pocket, she would make her way over toward the rodent section of the store and watch the hamsters.

She'd had one as a pet, Deeks later found out, his habit of charming the woman who ran personnel into letting him take a quick peek at the files informing him of the piece of her past she had yet to mention. A hamster that had been eaten by her friend's cat, Nate had been careful to note, a gruesome fate that had even him cringing for the long dead creature. Ever since she'd had a soft spot for the breed of tamed rodents, a desire for one that she'd never acted upon.

Deeks would eventually find all of that out later, after the two of them had been partners for the many years to come. All he'd known then, watching her from his hiding place so she wouldn't realize he'd followed her, was that it was obvious she wanted one, and wasn't going to buy it herself.

So, he'd fixed the wanting look in her eyes, and, Monday morning, Kensi walked into work to find a cardboard box waiting for her on her desk.

_Hi! My name is _FUZZY WUZZY _and I'm a _GOLDENTEDDY BEAR HAMSTER.

Below the identification tag on the box an extra note had been taped to the side, the message scrawled in a messy combination that had become so familiar to her over the time she had worked with its writer.

_Daddy Deeks already promised me that my older brother Monty wouldn't eat me, so what do you say Kensi? Will you be my mommy?_

Chuckling, Kensi carefully tucked the extra note Deeks had left for her into her pocket, making sure it was hidden from sight. Tilting the box so she could better see him, a soft smile crossed Kensi's lips as Fuzzy poked his nose between the bars, carefully examining the scent that wafted off the finger she held up for him to smell. Reaching in so she could rub his head, Kensi let an amused sigh fall from her lips as she shook her head at Deeks' antics.

She would keep the hamster, but 'Daddy Deeks' would be hearing from her later about the proper way to buy someone a pet that didn't include dropping it on their desk and running away.


	10. If

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: LA. Not sure who does, but it's not me.

* * *

"So, do you have any plans for this weekend?"

Nell's question was casual, innocent, the sort any friend might ask another on a Thursday afternoon as they filled out their paperwork, waiting for the day to end. It was the sort that, had it been asked a couple of months ago, Kensi would have shrugged at and answered, slightly curious as to whether or not Nell was doing something of her own. The kind of question she used to wait for, for, as private of a person she was, she usually did like talking to the technical wizard beside her.

"No. Why?" Kensi's voice was clipped and short as she spoke, defensive in tone while the glance she shot at her was cool and calculating, wondering at the reason behind the woman's small talk. Did she know? Had she guessed? Would… Her train of thought trailing off at the hurt look that flashed across Nell's face, her stomach sank from guilt.

"Just asking, Kensi. No need to be so snippety," Nell replied, turning her back and walking away without giving the other woman another chance to talk. It was obvious to her that Kensi was hiding something, something that had been bothering her for the past while, but if she didn't want to talk, well, Nell knew her place.

It was then that Kensi began to wonder if everything-their lies, the fake dates to throw off suspicion, and the broken trust that would eventually come when they were found out-was actually worth being able to call him hers.


	11. Justice

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: LA. Not sure who does, but it's not me.

* * *

She didn't look like the type, but Kensi _did_, in fact, use perfume.

When Deeks had first found out this deep, dark secret of hers, he had bit his lip and put the bottle back into her gym bag, deciding to set his knowledge of it aside for a rainy day in their relationship. They had only just been partnered up to work together, and while most of their conversations did consist of almost playful pokes and prods at the other, she didn't need to know he was going through her things.

Not just yet, anyway.

So he pushed it to the back of his mind, saving it for the moment the perfect comment would be needed, a single line that would win him their little game for weeks to come. Kensi Blye would have no other choice but to bow before his ultimate skill in word craft, his natural ability to create comebacks on the fly, and all would be well in his world.

It would be a day to remember for posterity, and he was just _waiting_ for it to come.

He never got the chance, for just a few weeks after he found the bottle, Kensi _hugged_ him and he smelled its contents.

He had no clue what it was supposed to smell like, no idea what it was supposed to even be, but even in his wildest dreams he never could have conjured up the way she smelled, his nose buried into her hair as he held her. A mixture of whatever was in the bottle and just _her_, something he never could have done justice even if he had tried. A smell he wanted on his pillow in the morning and his shirts at night, just so it would never fade from his mind.

He never got to use his comeback, for every time he thought of that bottle, her scent assaulted him just as strongly as the first time, and he became distracted by the desire to smell it again.


	12. Kiss

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: LA. CBS does.

* * *

When Kensi had a craving, she didn't deny it.

If she wanted a piece of candy, she ate one. If she wanted a donut, she either got one herself or delegated the task to the closest person heading to a convenience store, a five tucked into their hand as compensation for the favor. If she wanted to smother her sandwich in cheese and wrap the entire thing in bacon, you bet your butt she was going to.

Their job had taught her many times over life was too short to spend it unhappy, and with the required hour at the gym in place to keep her from feeling guilty about it later, she acted on all of her cravings the moment she became aware of them.

Except for one, which frustrated her greatly, seeing as how it was a craving that _never_ went away.

Normally she just pushed it away, forcing her mind to focus on the task at hand so she wouldn't act on the little voice in the back of her mind. She'd engage Nell in some mindless conversation about their personal lives that would need to be decoded later, or she ate in front of Sam, something _guaranteed_ to get her a lecture to ignore. Sometimes she even drank tea with Hetty, a dangerous pastime at best when her mind was clear; almost down right suicidal when she was distracted.

Sometimes, however, she couldn't help herself when the opportunity presented itself before her.

"So, partner," Deeks said as he slid into her car, the door closing behind him, "where are w-_mphf!_"

"I've been wanting to kiss you all day," Kensi sighed as she finally pulled away, her eyes opening to find that his own were still closed, his mouth slightly open as he brain struggled to catch up with her. Straightening forward, she turned on the car and began to back out, acting as if nothing had happened. "Suicide over on Davis that Hetty thinks might really be a murder. We're going to check it out."

"You always know _exactly_ what to say to keep the mood going, Kens. _Exactly_."

"Just a talent of mine," she teased. "Now, how about you put those lips of your to work for once and read me the directions on how to get there."

Kensi had many cravings, most of which she satisfied instantly. Her craving for Deeks' kiss, however, was one that grown over the years to become insatiable, though she was willing to try.


	13. Lost

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles. CBS does.

* * *

"Would you just pull over and ask for directions already?"

"We don't need to ask for direction, Deeks," Kensi hissed as she made another turn, the list of instructions clenched in one of her hands as she tried to read them and drive at the same time. It had been his job to read them to her before they had found the road before them blocked, and ever since she'd decided to take a 'detour' to get around the construction instead of just waiting for the traffic to clear like a normal person, she's taken control of the navigator's job as well. "I have my instructions, I've seen more maps of this city then you can count; I know where I'm going."

"So that's why we almost passed the city limits sign. Again." His tone was annoyed, obviously angered she wouldn't just admit for once she was wrong and ask for help, but the chuckle that came after as she glared at the driver who cut her off was enough to make him feel a bit better about the situation. At least he wasn't the only one upset; misery loved company, and, between the two of them, they had a whole party going on.

"Is that a seven or a five…" Kensi grumbled a moment later as she pulled to a stop, the red light before her finally giving her a chance to decipher her own handwriting. Tilting her head to see if the illegible number made any sense sideways, she didn't notice when Deeks began to move, his soft shuffle not enough to break her concentration. She _did _notice, however, when her car began to beep at her, its soft alarm a warning the passenger side door was open and her blonde companion was missing. "What…"

"Donut cart," Deeks huffed a moment later as he slid back in, a small box perched in his hands just as the light turned green. Buckling back up, he waved at the woman behind the portable counter as they drove by before opening the top, waving the smell toward her as he picked out a large, chocolate covered disk. "Fresh made not even ten minutes ago, if her sign is to be believed. Which I think it is; she seemed like a trustworthy woman, and they were cheap too. Here." Tearing the list of directions out of her hand, he forced the treat into it instead, smiling as she automatically moved it to take a bite. "Good, huh?"

"Deeks, these are delicious!" She was honestly surprised; the normally health conscious man rarely bought food like this, pointing out useless things like sodium levels and trans fats whenever she accompanied him shopping, but it was a good surprised. One that had her taking another bite when the first was only half chewed, an action she knew would cause him to wince but that she didn't care enough to stop. "Get one for yourself?" Her words were slightly garbled, but he understood, pulling out a pink one with sprinkles for himself. "You are such a girl."

"And you're the guy that got us lost," he snorted in reply, leaning over to swipe away a bit of chocolate that had gathered at the corner of her lips. "Mmm, Kensi flavored," he teased as he licked it off his thumb, "almost as good as this strawberry icing I got here."

"Well, if getting us lost means junk food, I'll do it all the time," she said calmly, taking another bite of her own to calm the racing of her heart. "And _almost_," she added indignantly as she pulled to a stop, turning to frown at her partner. "I taste _better_ is what you mean. An-"

"You're right, Kens," Deeks sighed a moment later, pulling away from the kiss as cars behind them started to honk their horns, the light green again and waiting for them to go, "_much_ better."

If this was what was going to happen every time she got them lost, she was going to have to do it a lot more often. The donuts really made it worth it; the kiss was just extra.


	14. Miscarriage

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles. CBS does.

* * *

"_Kens, hold on."_

"_What's wrong with her?"_

"_Deeks! Move!"_

The words around her were muffled as she stared at her hands, light glistening off the reddish tips of her fingers. Part of her knew she should be listening to them, that the voices around her were far too panicked to be real, to be theirs when nothing was wrong. Part of her wanted to yell for them to shut up so she could focus, the pounding in her head already hard to think through without the ringing in her ears from their screaming.

_Which made no sense, for how many times had she fired a gun without ear protection and been perfectly fine? How could they be so much louder than her glock?_

"Kensi, sweetie, you're going to be okay, okay? You're going to be fine."

His was the only voice that was clear, the only voice that made any sort of sense, and as his hands closed around her own, spreading the color from her skin to his, Kensi could only listen as instructions were yelled, orders given, and nothing all tried to make sense at once.

She was scared, frightened not by the confusion around her, but because she could hear in his own voice just how terrified Deeks truly was.

And she was petrified by it.


	15. Negative

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles. CBS does.

* * *

He tried to hug her. She let him, but only for a moment; then he was pushed away like the plate of chocolate he'd left on her desk her first day back.

He tried to get her to talk, to say the words he _knew_ had to be on her mind, but she refused. She hated being weak, hated feeling like she had to lean on him to keep going, and knew that, were she to speak, she'd never stop. So, for her own sake, she remained silent.

He tried to get her to go out with him, to spend a night together and away from work to just hang out like they used to. She filled her nights with Nell and random men she found at bars, dancing away the hours until she finally went home alone, though he never knew she was. He thought she'd given up on them.

She tried to get him to smile, to joke and laugh the way he used to before, when things were a lot simpler and they were just partners, nothing more. He shrugged off her insults and jabs, pointing out details and ideas for their case instead, determined to finish each day before they became too close.

She tried to get him to eat, parading his favorites under his nose, a constant battle against the weight he'd lost. Not much, not enough to hurt, for even when she was unsuccessful, Sam or G would find a way to stuff a burrito into him, but enough to harden him. Sometimes, he actually looked like the criminal he occasionally played, and it scared her. Even if she ignored him, she wanted her Deeks back, just so he'd be there.

She tried to get things back to the way they were before, before they'd gone out, before their weekend, and before everything else. She tried to pretend it'd never happened, tried to forget it ever had, but he wouldn't let her. Both of them knew, both remembered, and both had to deal.

Until then, everything would just stay negative.


	16. Open

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles. CBS does.

* * *

"I'm sorry."

For once Deeks didn't need to ask what her apology was for, her behavior over the last few months still fresh in his mind. Not saying anything, the tone of her voice making it clear she didn't want him to speak, he shifted in his seat, turning to face her as he waited for her to continue.

"I'm sorry. Just…I'm sorry."

"Me too, Kens," Deeks said softly, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close so she was against his side. Neither needed any more than that, both hearing everything else in those few words spoken. "Me too."

Neither spoke for the rest of the night, instead just sitting on her couch, staring at the television as it cycled through reruns and outdated commercials, not caring enough to change it to something they might like. Really, they were both just glad to be with each other, and that she had opened up the lines of communication.

They'd get through this. Now that they were talking, they knew they would.


	17. Positive

**Disclaime**r: I do not own NCIS: Las Angeles. CBS does.

* * *

"What do we have, Deeks?"

"Between the two of us? Two guns, three knives, a pair of broken cells and no ammo."

"How many guys do you think are out there?"

"From what I could see when they weren't firing on us, a dozen, maybe more. If we're lucky."

"Any idea where Sam and Callen are?"

"From what Nell and Eric said before we lost contact, bogged down on the other side of town. Half an hour, at least, before back up'll get here."

"Think we can take them?"

"Positive."

"Really?"

"Positive we're screwed, but yeah, I think we can take them. Up for the challenge, Kens?"

"If we live, you so owe me lunch."

"I'll buy you a donut."

"Deal."

Later, when they were being treated for bullet wounds, broken bones, and more minor injuries then they could count, Deeks would hobble down to the nearest convenience store, buy a donut, and stick a post-it note on it that would say _Hey, at least we won._


End file.
